fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
