Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
