Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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