I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
