Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
