Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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