I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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