We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I pour the whiskey from now on
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
