Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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