As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
