We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
