"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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