Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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