its not stalking. its research.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
