Betty ford says i'm here all night
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
