If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
