he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
