I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
