Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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