Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
