hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
