Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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