passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize