so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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