ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
