i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
