i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
