He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
