Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
