Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize