I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
