Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
