apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
