I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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