Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize