It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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