best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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