Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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