She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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