Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
