Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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