You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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