Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
