ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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