wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
