Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
