Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
