Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
