I am puke
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
