champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize