Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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