Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
