Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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