I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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