I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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