Dual....:-)
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize