Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize