I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Someone signed my nipple.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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