She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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